Ever since having gained consciousness, I have adored man’s best friend. Dogs, that is. These four-legged furry toys, perpetually winded for a ‘happy ending’ (the wagging tail), are the love of my life. I bet I was a dog in my past life—explains our mutual affinity.
But I must have been a ferocious dog, having bitten many, the bad karma ensuing my reincarnation as a human in this life. So here I am, walking the earth on two legs, making do with the commode instead of the lamppost. Alas! And as if this were not enough, then came women. Well, they are not bad creatures, but my tryst with them has yet to yield a ‘happy ending.’
The first time I came across a pretty girl was when I was in kindergarten. All of us kids would gather around and play catch-ball with each other, just like puppies playing together. Once during playtime, I threw the ball at her and she missed catching it. The ball hit her chin and she got visibly upset, I rushed to say sorry and as soon as I approached her, she said, “Kutte!” Kutte in Hindi means ‘dog,’ so I found it a bit ironic as I wasn’t expecting pleasantries at all. Nonetheless, I felt elated with joy and blushed—it’s not every day that a pretty girl compliments you. She was with me throughout primary grade school and I soon learned the fact that Kutte was not meant to be a compliment, but an expletive! So all of these years, my feeling that she had a crush on me was pure wishful thinking. I was enraged and dumped her from my thoughts immediately—how could someone use the dog analogy in the form of an expletive! This experience hurt me so much that it almost heralded an aversion to women.
I was upset for a while but didn’t let this experience make me stereotype women, after all, I came across many who loved dogs as much as I did. Fast forward a few decades, with countless love affairs with furry four-legged friends, I was in Liverpool, UK, for an official project and came across a pretty Irish colleague. Looking back, she was quite ordinary, but what got me hooked was her amazing cascading hair, especially the color of it—the exact hue of an Irish Setter, a gorgeously exotic reddish copper-brown. I was stunned to see the same color on a woman’s head and couldn’t help but compliment her stating how her hair reminded me of the graceful Irish Setters. To my surprise, the smile on her face dropped dead. I just couldn’t understand as I was hoping she’d get flattered. Only later did I realize that she didn’t like the dog analogy. Immediately, I dumped her from my thoughts, helped further by divinity as I soon saw a pair of Irish Setters being walked nearby—their coat was certainly richer and more graceful than that copper-red-haired colleague of mine.
But not all women get peeved at the association with dogs—one of my lady bosses at work used to drive a Honda Civic with a purple shade that reminded me of the purple-blue coat hues of a Neapolitan Mastiff. I never dared to mention this to her (trepidations of my previous experiences) but I soon got to know that she was an ardent fan of dogs and even had a German Shepherd at home. So one day I casually mentioned how similar the Neapolitan Mastiff’s shade and her car’s color were and she quite sportingly agreed with a smile. I wish all women, and men, were like this.
Analogy/association to dogs has always served a derogatory purpose. Man’s best friend certainly deserves better. I wish everybody starts respecting dogs, aptly described by Lord Byron’s ode to his beloved Newfoundland, Boatswain: “… Who possessed Beauty without Vanity, Strength without Insolence, Courage without Ferocity, And all the virtues of Man without his Vices…”
So here’s hoping for the restoration of respect and love for man’s best friend. And how I long for my dog days—I hope my good karma in this life puts me back on four feet in the next one, reveling in being a son of a bitch, leading a dog’s life with a guaranteed ‘happy ending!’
(Authored at Hyderabad, February 11 to 12, 2011)
